From "Nordseth, Anders" on Wed, 18 Dec 1996 14:40:28 +0100
Message: BONA-117205 Bok Tanja! this is the joke I didn't send to you earlier, but you wanted to have it anyway. (PS: I didn't include you on the dirty-jokes list before, but since you want them so much, here you are... :-) Anders +--------------------------------------------------------------+ | Bona Shipping AS | Tlf : +4722310096 | Disclaimer: | | P.O.Box 470 Sentrum | Fax : +4722310061 | ----------- | | N-0105 OSLO | Telex : 19070 bona n | My fingers are | | Norway | E-mail: ran@bona.no | epileptic... | +--------------------------------------------------------------+ The Nun and the Cab Driver -------------------------- A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small,high,voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?" In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, "Hey sista, that's kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat? The nun says, "Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?" The cabbie says, "About dis celibacy thing. Are you telling me you never think about doin' it?" The nun: "Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand." The cabbie: "Well, wouldya ever consider, you know, doin' it?" The nun: "Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstance, I might consider it." The cabbie: "Well what would dose conditions happen to be?" The nun: "Well, he'd have to be Catholic, unmarried and well, certainly, he could have no children." The cabbie: "Well, sista, today is your lucky day. I am all three. Why do youse come on up here...I won't even make you really break your vows. All you gotta do is go down on me." The nun looks around....they are awfully far away from where anyone would recognize her....at the next light she gets into the front with the driver. By the next light, the nun is getting back into the rear of the cab, and the cabbie is smiling from ear to ear. As she settles in, the nun hears the cabbie begin to laugh. The nun inquires, "Why, my son, what is so humorous?" The cabbie sneers, "Sista, I got ya. I'm Protestant, I'm married, and I got four kids." And from the back of the cab comes the nun's low voiced response, "Yeah, well my name's Dave and I'm on my way to a costume party." ====================================================== Michael Jackson --------------- Michael Jackson is expecting his first child these days with his former nurse. So he went to his doctor and asked: "How soon after the pregnancy do you think I can have sex again?" And the doctor replied: "Well, I think you at least should wait until the boy gets 16 years old." ====================================================== Physical exam ------------- An elderly woman had her physical exam. When she got home her husband asked about the results. The wife said, " The doctor said I had the heart and lungs of a 30 year old." The husband said smugly, "What'd he say about that 79 year old ass?" "Your name never came up." she repliedWatch out for more...