From Marina Janko on Thu, 12 Dec 1996 13:30:38 +0100 (MET)
U svrhu promicanja ideje o povecanju nataliteta u lijepoj nasoj.. ..uzivajte.. ************************The baby jokecollection.******************************* ******************************************************************************* What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? - A baby with forks in its eyes. How do you load 100 screaming babies onto a truck? - A pitchfork. What's grosser than 100 babies in a garbage can? - One baby in 100 garbage cans. How do you fit 200 dead babies into a phone booth? -Use A Blender. How do you get them out? -Tortillas. How do you make a baby float? -One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby. if on a diet use only one scoop. Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? - So you can see his expression on his face and listen to the scream. What's red and slimy and sits in the corner? - A baby with a razor blade. What's green and slimy and sits in the corner? - Same baby, three weeks later. What's grosser than gross? - A pile of dead babies. What's grosser than that? - one's alive underneath. What's grosser than that? - He's eating his way out. What's even grosser than that? - He makes it. What's even grosser than that? - He goes back for a friend. What's red, white, stringy, and hangs from trees? - Baby that's been hit by a snowblower. Whats more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff/ - Catching it with a pitchfork Whats pink and goes red with a "SNAP!"? - A baby in a gin trap Whats pink and goes black with a "HISS!"? - A baby being thrown into a furnace. How do you save a baby from drowning? -Take your foot off its head What's the definition of fun? -Playing "fetch" with a pit bull using a baby What is pink, yellow and lives at the bottom of a pool? -Baby with slashed floaties. What is green, yellow and lives at the bottom of a pool? -Same baby 6 months later. What is better than nailing a baby to a fence? -Pulling it off. How do you stop a baby swinging on a clothesline? -With a shovel. What is pink and goes red at the press of a button? -Baby in a blender. How do you get it out of the blender? -With a straw. What crys a lot and goes round in circles? -A baby with one foot nailed to the floor. What is the advantage of being a test tube baby? -A womb with a view. What is the worst part of being a test tube baby? -You know your dads a wanker. What's black, goes round and round going tap tap tap? -Baby in a microwave. What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? -About 10 minutes in a microwave. What's one foot high and six foot wide? -A baby with a javelin through its head. What goes down a dead end corridor and can't turn round? -Baby with a javelin through its head. What's better - A truck load of babys or a truck load of bowling balls? -The babys -- You can get them out with a pitchfork. What's pink, goes red and gets smaller and smaller? -Baby with a potato peeler. What is blue and can't breathe? -Baby in a plastic bag. What's the difference between a baby and a onion? -No one cries when you cut up a baby Whats's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? -You take your steel capped boots off to jump on a trampoline What do you have if you see twenty babies up to their necks in sand? -Not enough sand. ******************************************************************************* * The Australian Lindy Chamberlain Baby Jokes Section ******************************************************************************* * What did a bus load of babies want at Ayres Rock? -Revenge What do vegetarian dingoes eat? -Cabbage Patch Kids What do you call a baby in a pram at Ayres Rock? -Meals on Wheels What is a test tube baby's worst enemy? -A dingo with a straw. How is Lindy Chamberlain Going to kill her next baby? -Drown it and blame it on Flipper the dolphin.Watch out for more...