From "Tanja Weber" on Sun, 20 Apr 1997 17:39:48 +0200
*-------------------------------------------------------------*
KEYBOARD PRAYER
Our Program, who art in Memory,
Hello be thy Name. Thy Operating System come, Thy Commands be done,
at the Printer as it is on the Screen.
Give us this day our daily Data, and forgive us our I/O Errors
as we forgive those whose Logic Circuits are faulty
And lead us not into frustration, and deliver us from Power Surges.
For Thine is the Algorithm, the Application and the Solution,
looping forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever
and ever and ever and ever and ever.
Return.
*-------------------------------------------------------------*
Law #1 All systems look good on paper
Law #2 Never assume a system has a particular feature just because
it seems obvious that it would. Even if it does, it won't
work the way you think it should.
Law #3 People who design CAD systems never use them to design
anything.
Law #4 No CAD system is as good as the demo can make it look, and no
system is as bad as an incompetent demonstrator can make it
look.
Law #5 The vendor's statement "Our system is so easy to learn, all
you need is our user's manual" assumes that you have a
master's degree in computer science, ten years of experience
using other systems, plenty of free time, membership in
MENSA, an IQ of 175, and a natural flair for puzzles.
Law #6 The CAD system's user manual comes fully encrypted - free of
charge.
Law #7 When you first start using a system, you'll think there are
bugs in it, but they will be your mistakes. As soon as you
become more proficient with the system you'll discover the
real bugs, which will be described as unique features of the
system.
Law #8 After you discover a legitimate bug and duplicate the
conditions that caused it five different times, you report if
to the vendor and they won't be able to duplicate it.
Law #9 As soon as you become proficient and familiar with the
operation of the system and learn to work around the
limitations, you'll receive a new release that operates
significantly different from the old one and includes a new
set of bugs.
Law #10 According to the vendor, bugs will be fixed in the next
release. New software releases won't fix existing bugs and
will include new ones.
Law #11 Hardware failures always happen when you haven't saved your
data in six hours.
Law #12 New CAD systems are always installed two days prior to
commencement of design of the most important project your
company has ever had, which is already behind schedule. Your
boss expects you and the CAD system to make up the lost
time.
Law #13 No matter what system you purchase, you'll wish it was
faster and more powerful.
\ /
"
(. .)
-----------oOO--(_)--OOo-------------------
Tanja Weber
Faculty of informatics and organisation
e-mail: tweber@foi.hr
e-mail: tweber@jagor.srce.hr
http://www.foi.hr/~tweber
http://alf.tel.hr/cbn/users/tweber (faster)
tel:+385/42/230 894
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