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From "Nordseth, Anders" on Fri, 07 Feb 1997 15:22:41 +0100

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

Message: BONA-131052

You know it's going to be a bad day when... 

 1.your twin sister forgets your birthday. 
 2.you wake up face down on the pavement. 
 3.you put your bra on backwards and it fits better. 
 4.you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold. 
 5.you see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office. 
 6.your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. 
 7.your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her 
   own business. 
 8.you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, 
   and there aren't any. 
 9.you turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes 
   out of your city. 
10.the woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like 
   your wife.
11.you wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then 
   you realize that you don't have a water bed. 
12.your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow 
   a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway. 
13.you get a rejection notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying 
   that you're no longer funny 
14.your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..." 
15.you open the paper and find your picture under a caption 
   that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!" 
16.your ex-lover calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and 
   that you'd better get the Test 
17.you wake up at work naked in front of your co-workers 
18.when someone accuses you of faking humor 
19.your lover tells you, "I'm sub-letting another apartment and 
   the movers are here to move me." 
20.you have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up 
21.you need your chocoholic fix and the government just 
   banned chocolate! 


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