Dobrica Pavlinusic's home page: fun.mail

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From Tin Blaskovic on Thu, 30 Jan 1997 09:29:36 +0100 (MET)

Re: Top ten reasons (fwd)

On Thu, 30 Jan 1997, Dobrica Pavlinusic wrote:

Evo ti nesto in return (3 items), podugacko:

1) iz alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
-------------------------------
Rich Clancey <rhc@world.std.com> wrote...
: 	We are looking at a newspaper clipping labelled "Huffington
: Herald 11/12/96" in which "Huffington" states, in part:
: 
: 	"The inhabitants of Tiera del Fuego ... have a single word
: that means 'to look at each other hoping that either will offer to do
: something that both parties desire but are unwilling to do.'"
: 
: 	Does anyone know that word?
: -- 

Management?

2) Ako nisi vec vidio:
----------------------
God's genesis.log from God's UNIX machine


#In the beginning was the computer. And God said
:Let there be light!
#You have not signed on
:God.
#Enter user password.
:Omniscient.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Omnipotent.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Technocrat.
#And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
:Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again!
:Create light.
#Done.
:Run heaven and earth.
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.
:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
#Unrecognizable command! Try again!
:Create firmament.
#Done.
:Run firmament.
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
the
 dry land appear and
#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.
:Create dryland.
#Done!
:Run dryland.
#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
#Unspecified type. Try again!
:Create sunmoonstars.
#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
:Create fish.
#Done.
:Create fowl.
#Done.
:Run fish'nfowl.
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
 creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
 fowl after its kind.
0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.
:Create cattle.
#Done.
:Create creepy things.
#Done.
:Now let us make man in our image.
#Unspecified type! Try again.
:Create man.
#Done.
:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
 dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and
 over every living thing that creepeth upon the  earth.
#Too many command operands! Try again.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
:Insert breath.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
:Move man to Garden of Eden.
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
:Create Gard.En.
#Done.
:Move man to Gard.En.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
:Copy woman from man.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
:Insert woman into man.
#Illegal parameters. Try again!
:Insert man into woman.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
:Create desire.
#Done.
:Run multiplication.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create freewill.
#Done.
:Run freewill.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Undo desire.
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Help!
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Create Treeofknowledge.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create good'nevil.
#Done.
:Activate evil.
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En.
#1 errors.
:Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!
:Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Search failed.
:Delete shame.
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
:Stop!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
:Break
:Break
:Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS: SERVER GOING DOWN IN 5 MINS FOR REGULAR
 DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST. PLEASE SIGN OFF NOW.
:Create new world.
#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files
 before new ones can be created.
:Destroy earth.
#Destroy earth. Please confirm.
#SERVER SHUTTING DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8
AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!
#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6

3) Iz Ferala:
-------------                                      
                                      
                            "biljeznica robija k.
                                      
                                pismo nikoli
                                      
                  A jebami pas sorosevsku mater ka mogu bit
                takvo djubre izdajnicko i neprijateljsko kad
                  mogu tako mrzit sve sto je hrvacko i bit
                   zadnje govno placenicko dabogda me vlak
              satra dabogda mi se ogadilo mliko materino umisto
            sta organizirano sa svih svjeckih centara ocu vratit
              nasu Hrvacku u kojekakve balkanske konfederacije
              jebami irud sve zivo i nezivo sorosevsko dabogda
               me skupija tramvaj na Jelacic placu kad mogu za
            judine skude rovarit protiv hrvacke vlasti i hrvacke
               drzave za pojedine ambasade i kojekakve sluzbe
            dabogda se friga u paklu skupa sa kojekakvim radijima
               i medijima damogda mi se srusija aviojon pa me
              nasli u komadicima na trista kilometara povrsine
          jebami noj srbocetnicku cunku izdajnicku i neprijateljsku
                i isto svi moji jataci nek idu u srbocetnicki
            trokurac di ce ih povijest osuditi skupa sa hrvackim
                narodom sto su ga tili podat stranim centrima
         i organizacijama koje bi nas vratile u kojekakve federacije
                 i konfederacije dabogda me spicija kamijon
              na pjesackom prelazu kad mogu za saku dolara srat
            protiv hrvacke vlasti i hrvacke drzave sinhronizirano
               i sto nije slucajno nego je sve skupa i zajedno
           financirano iz raznih udruga i kojekakvih organizacija
           za ljudska prava i di se motaju razne zupe i golstajni
               i cvijici pa nek mi onda frknu posteni hrvacki
                 gradjani dva tri stapina dinamita u spavacu
           da malo vidim sto znaci kenjat protiv hrvackih drzavnih
                 interesa skupa sa svim jugonostalgicarima i
             zutim i zelenim i crvenim jebami pas cilu familiju
               srbokomunisticku i oficirskog podrijetla kad me
                mogu sve te masonske i spijunske organizacije
             tako potplatit za neprijateljsko djelovanje dabogda
              mi se hrvacki komarci krvi napili pa da riknem od
              mocvarske malarije umjesto sto pravim projekte za
                rusenje demokracke vlasti skupa sa kojekakvim
                ambasadama i drugim iz tog kojekakvog svijeta
             sta se pravi demokracki a znali su klat indijance i
             palit kuce crncima jebaim pas mater velikosrpsku i
              balkanskofederativnu pa sad meni davaju donacije
              da rusim hrvacku drzavu u ovom poviesnom trenutku
                  dabogda mi prokljuca mozak na elektricnoj
              stolici skupa sa sorosevskim hrvackim helsinskim
              odborom i kojekakvim cickovima i bancima dabogda
              se sorija sa stabla i zabija se cunkom u hrvacku
                 zemlju kad za judine srebrnjake mogu izdat
            najsvetije ideale hrvackih kraljeva i knezova jebami
             konj cilu rodbinu skupa sa prijateljima i znancima
             sve nas triba sa kalasnjikovim naucit pameti jerbo
               se vidi da nam jedino metak ide u glavu kad sam
              takvi ogavni spijuncic i kad primam strane skude
              za domace hude dabogda ja dobija proliv pa da mi
             krene iz glave u guzicu umisto sta zovem na rusenje
             najboljeg hrvackog precjednika sto nam je poklonija
             i zrak koji dihamo a sad bi ga kojekakvi smutljivci
               i spijuncine tile pokopat prije vrimena pa jos
              primaju iz stranih centrala poklone i donacije za
             prljavu i ogavnu rabotu sram me bilo i stid kad sam
               takvi govnar i mrzilac svega hrvackog umisto da
              ostanem jedinstvem u ovome poviesnom casu ustanem
                 protiv mracnih prozapadnih sila sta bi nas
              vratile u neke mracne federacije i komfederacije
               dabogda govno izija jebami pas sve zivo i mrtvo
                  ko sta jeba pas mater svima sta idu rusit
               hrvacku vlast i drzavu i sta me zato zatrpavaju
                sa kojekakvim donacijama i judinim skudama...
                                      
                        i... i... Dragi sveti Nilola,
                          ovo ti pisem samo da malo
                      vidis u kakva ces se govna uvalit
                              ako mi ove godine
                               ista poklonis!
                                      
                               ROBI K (IIIa)"
                                      
                          Feral Tribune, 9.12.96.
                                      
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